Session 2: The Union

Session Overview

Creedal Statement

We prize the family as a bedrock of faith formation,
we cherish marriage as a most holy and most sacred union,
we value parents as frontline shepherds to disciple their children,
we treasure friends as our own souls,
we engage society as godly citizens with redemptive purpose, and
we embrace our lifework with a God-centered focus.

We confess the church as Christ’s family, a family called to:
treat other members with genuine care,
steward our possessions for the common good,
honor appointed leaders and participate in Christ’s worldwide body,
engage the domains of the world with the truth of the gospel, and
represent Christ to all those who are far and near.

Key Elements

• Key Passage - Genesis 24:1–67
• Scripture Memory - “However, from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Mark 10:6–9
• Catechism - Q: What is the foundational relationship in family? A: Marriage.

Introduction

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

There is no society more near, more entire, more needful, more kindly, more delightful, more comfortable, more constant, more continual, than the society of a man and wife, the main root, source, and original of all other societies.

Next to our relationship to God, the marriage relationship is most foundational to the integrity, well-being, and welfare of the family. Joyous companionship is found in the intimate union of husband and wife bound together in the context of a committed covenant relationship, and marriage is a blessing given to God’s human creation. Built upon godly foundations, the marriage relationship offers amazing promise. The joy of companionship, the security of committed love, the worthwhile work of family-making, and the comfort of mutual belonging are some of the God-given prospects of the marriage relationship. Truly, it is one of God’s great gifts to humanity. But while the romantic relationship between man and woman has the prospect of rich joy, it also has the potential to cause great pain.

When humans approach the marriage relationship on their own terms, disaster, pain, and hardship ensue. Seeking sexual pleasure and intimacy outside of the marriage covenant has brought devastation to countless families (even causing lingering generational effects). Building a marriage relationship upon self-interest, convenience, personal ambition, or fleshly appetites is a sure way to cause one’s family to collapse. Ignoring God’s role as the primary leader in the marriage relationship, many men have gone about the marriage relationship on their own terms—even taking their cue from cultural values of the day—and allowed their marriage to wander in the barren wilderness. Many women have likewise striven to shape their relationships after the world’s values, causing tremors to shake the foundations of marriage and family.

This session aims to build solid foundations for the marriage relationship by exploring the story of Isaac and Rebekah’s marriage in Genesis 24:1–67. As the story unfolds, we witness wise and faithful discernment at the foundation of their marriage relationship. Abraham and his servant oriented Isaac’s marriage in a God-honoring direction, seeking God’s guidance all along the way. Eventually, the servant met Rebekah, God’s clear choice for Isaac’s wife. At the well, the servant’s interaction with Rebekah highlights much about the meaning, significance, and substance of marriage. As we see the servant’s conversation with Rebekah’s family, we learn that marriage is a covenant union of great worth and importance. The family (and Rebekah) finally consented to the marriage proposal. We see how marriage is God’s chosen means to form new families in the world. The story concludes with Isaac and Rebekah meeting, marrying, and experiencing the joy of marriage when it is done in God’s way.

While this biblical passage narrates how the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah came about, it also offers helpful instruction for building solid foundations for godly marriages. This biblical text has much to teach not only those exploring marriage, but also those whose marriage has been seasoned by many years. Earnest study of this passage will yield fruitful nourishment for couples contemplating marriage, young couples establishing marital fundamentals, mature couples with years of marriage experience, and discouraged couples struggling through difficult seasons. So important is marriage to God’s heart (and to his global purpose) that we must understand God’s design for this most blessed relationship. May our hearts be open, our minds be attentive, and our spirits be willing to receive what God would teach us!

Biblical Interpretation: Hearing the Word

Study the Text: The Bible is God’s inspired word to his people. Christian disciples mature in the faith when they are grounded in God’s word. In this movement, you will study the basic details of the biblical text.

Observation Questions

Read (or listen to) the whole passage of Scripture. Discuss the questions below for each section of the story. Pay attention to the details of the text to recall what the passage is saying. Use the focus verses to guide your conversation.

Storycraft

Retell the story in your own words, recounting the overall flow of the narrative, the main segments of the story, and the major developments that take place.

Narrative Elements

Story Retell

Theological Dialogue: Discussing the Plot

Explore the Text: God’s word is his trustworthy and sufficient revelation to his people. We grow as Christ’s disciples by rooting our lives in God’s unchanging truth. In this movement, you will explore vital teachings of this biblical passage.

Discussion Questions

Summarize the biblical story. As a community, discuss the following questions. Be attentive to the truths taught in this text. Use the commentary on the next pages to uncover core principles this passage teaches about the Christian faith.

Biblical Commentary

Use this commentary to help you understand the meaning of the text. Refer to the infographic on the next page to think through how narratives work.

Passage Introduction

Key Idea

Building marriages upon the foundation of God’s design in the context of a covenant relationship yields joy, blessing, and intimacy for this most blessed human relationship.

Passage Overview

The blessings of marriage can be enjoyed as a couple builds their relationship on godly foundations. Although the true story of Isaac’s marriage to Rebekah took place in another generation and culture, it has much to teach us about God’s plan for marriage. As we consider establishing a marriage relationship after God’s design, we witness Abraham commissioning his servant under specific parameters to find a wife for Isaac. The servant’s prayerful discernment and God-fearing consideration of God’s will highlight that marriages thrive when God is the primary leader at the helm of the relationship. No mere casual arrangement, marriage’s covenantal nature makes this intimate union of great consequence before God. As seen through the narrative of Isaac and Rebekah, the family-making potential of marriage, along with its blessed coverage of loving and comforting companionship, makes marriage a great gift from God to humanity. This story should rearrange our understanding of and commitment to marriage with a godly vigor. As you explore this ancient historical account, use the exposition below to help you come to understand, value, and honor marriage as a sacred union designed and blessed by God.

Passage Outline

A Most Sacred Union

Set me as a seal over your heart, as a seal upon your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as unrelenting as Sheol. Its sparks are fiery flames, the fiercest blaze of all.

If thou art a man of holiness, thou must look more for a portion of grace in a wife than for a portion of gold with a wife; thou must look more after righteousness than riches; more after piety than money; more after what inheritance she hath in heaven, than what possessions she hath on earth; more at what interest she hath in Christ, than at what interest she hath in creatures; more at her being new-born, than at her being high-born; more at her being good than at all her worldly goods.

Introduction

Marriage plays a vital role in God’s global purposes. God accomplishes his work across the generations in the context of the family. While the wellspring of family life comes from God, a main vehicle for God’s blessing to the family (and through the family to the world) is the marriage relationship. As the marriage relationship goes, so does the family’s well-being. Marriage is so critical to human experience that societal decay and decline can be traced back to marital failure and compromise. At an individual level, this is also true. Some of our greatest joys and deepest heartaches are related to whether or not foundations in marriage were grounded in godly principles.

The story of Isaac’s marriage to Rebekah is a gripping narrative that details the foundational principles of a God-honoring marriage. In this historical account, Abraham commissioned his highest-ranking servant to find a wife for his son, Isaac. The approach to finding this spouse for Isaac was rooted in faith priorities, divine promises, and prayerful dependence. As the servant sought God’s direction and guidance, he encountered Rebekah at a well outside the city of Nahor. After God had revealed that she was the divine choice, the servant proposed to Rebekah on behalf of Isaac. The servant’s subsequent interactions with the family highlight the covenantal nature of marriage. When the family (and Rebekah) finally consented to the proposal, the great prospect and rich blessings of marriage came into clear view.

To be established in our faith, we need to grow in maturity in terms of the marriage relationship. This biblical story emphasizes that godly marriages must be built upon God’s design and decree. Giving oneself to the values of the surrounding cultural milieu will threaten marriage at its vital core. It will also threaten the potential joy and fulfillment divinely intended within this sacred union. Because we live in a world that opposes basic biblical principles, we must recalibrate our understanding of and commitment to marriage as revealed by God. Thankfully, God has not left us in the dark as it relates to marriage and family. To align marriage relationships according to God’s word is to avail ourselves of divine promises and blessings. Part of our heritage of faith, this scriptural story that recounts the marriage union of Isaac and Rebekah is a God-given guide to those who want to establish sure foundations of a godly and joyful marriage.

God Has Sworn: Grounding Marriage in God’s Covenant Promises

Biblical Narrative (Genesis 24:1–9)

At a time when the aged Abraham was “old and well along in years,” and God had “blessed him in every way” (24:1), he set out to find a wife for his son Isaac. According to God’s sovereign plan, the blessings of God’s covenant would be carried to the world and across generations through Abraham’s family line. As families are meant to beget more families (that is, families are meant to reproduce and multiply), it was critical for the continuity of God’s covenant promises and the perpetuity of Abraham’s lineage that he find a wife for his promised son, Isaac. The formation of families through marriage was not only a part of the creation mandate (cf. 1:26–28; 2:24–24) but also essential for the cross-generational covenant given to Abraham (cf. 12:1–3). To accomplish the crucial task of finding a fitting spouse, Abraham appointed his trusted household servant. This servant was the oldest servant in Abraham’s household and was in charge of all that Abraham possessed (24:2). He bore responsibility for Abraham’s possessions and would now bear the responsibility of helping Abraham find a suitable wife for Isaac.

Before the servant left on his journey, Abraham told him to place his hand under Abraham’s thigh. In this act, Abraham bound his servant to an oath: not to find a wife for Isaac from among the Canaanites (24:2–3). At that time, Abraham and his family lived among the Canaanite people, a pagan people who lived ungodly lives and worshiped false gods. This prohibition assured that Isaac would find a wife from his people, a community that shared his values of life and faith. Certainly, God celebrates diverse cultures and ethnicities in the world. This text is not a ban on interracial marriages. Rather, it highlights the danger of interreligious marriages. Since the Canaanites worshiped false gods and idols, they did not share a common faith in the Lord, the faith upon which Abraham had built his family (cf. 15:6; cf. 2 Corinthians 6:14). Marriage to a Canaanite would have introduced the snares of false religion and destructive idolatry into the covenant family. In turn, it would have threatened the covenant promises to the next generations. Instead of bending to the convenience of a Canaanite marriage, Abraham told his servant to “go to my country and my kindred to take a wife for my son Isaac” (24:4).

Responding to this instruction, Abraham’s servant asked what he should do if the woman was not willing to leave her homeland and live with Abraham’s family in Canaan: “What if the woman is unwilling to follow me to this land?” (24:5). The servant asked if he was to bring Isaac to live with her instead (24:5). Abraham emphatically denied this proposal (24:6). Abraham explained that God was the one who had taken him from his homeland, and God promised that he would give the land of Canaan to his offspring (24:7). Abraham explained to his servant that this same God—“the Lord, the God of heaven”—would “send His angel before you so that you can take a wife for my son from there” (24:7). Abraham did provide one concession for his servant. If the woman was unwilling to come and live in the land of Canaan, the servant would be freed from the oath (24:8). Even if the servant’s endeavor at finding a wife was unsuccessful, Abraham wanted to make sure that he and his family remained aligned with God’s plan to stay in the land of Canaan. At this time, his priority to remain faithful in integrity and purity eclipsed the practical concern of finding Isaac a spouse. Perhaps Abraham had learned from his earlier failure with Hagar that it is dangerous to ignore God’s clearly revealed will for human schemes (cf. 16:1–16). So important was the purity of the marriage that Abraham reiterated his prohibition: “do not take my son back there” (24:8). To remove and resettle Isaac out of the land of promise in order to secure a wife would be to act against God’s clearly revealed promises and sovereign leading. God had brought Abraham’s family to Canaan; he could not leave in order to secure a spouse for his son. Agreeing with Abraham’s instructions, “the servant placed his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter” (24:9).

Biblical Principles

Centrality of Faith and Godliness. Abraham resisted the ease and expediency of marrying his son to a wife in the immediate Canaanite locale. To Abraham, the faith and integrity of a potential spouse were more important than her immediate availability. A godly spouse who worshiped the one and only true God might be rare and would typically stand out from common cultural values. Abraham viewed this as most precious. Both at the beginning of a relationship (i.e., dating, courting, friendship, etc.) and through its seasoned years, godly marriages rest on the individual character and faith of each spouse. The embodiment of godly character would intrinsically resist cultural values from the surrounding society. Although the land of the Canaanites was where Abraham and his family lived, Abraham did not want his son to marry based on proximity and the prevailing cultural values of his day. Instead, Abraham’s faith in “the Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me from my father’s house and my native land” was his great concern (24:7). While God celebrates interracial marriages (cf. Numbers 12:1–6), he warns us about the devastation and disaster that result when God’s people marry outside the faith.

Community Discernment in Choosing a Spouse. Practically, it is noteworthy that both Abraham and his servant were involved in the search for Isaac’s wife (24:1–4, 6-7). Isaac displayed great faith, trusting his father (and God) in this process of finding a spouse. Whereas different cultures view the search for a spouse in various ways, an important principle outlined here is that those seeking godly marriages invite the perspective, advice, investment, and wisdom of the extended family in the decision of whom to marry. Even as marriages develop over the years, a mature couple builds ways for the extended family and faith community to speak into their relationship with a meaningful and mature voice. Inasmuch as marriage should honor and involve the extended family and faith community, it should also honor the will of the spouses. In his instructions to his servant, Abraham made a provision to release him from the oath if the woman was not willing to come back and live in Canaan (24:5, 8). Community discernment and individual agency were both honored.

Uncompromising Devotion and Divine Guidance. While marriage was important, Abraham was not willing to find a wife for Isaac at any cost. While Abraham recognized the importance of the woman’s individual agency, he relied upon God’s sovereign guidance (24:7). Abraham’s assurance of this guidance came in the form of God’s previously revealed promise: “to your offspring I will give this land” (24:7). Based on this covenant promise, Abraham had confidence that God would guide the servant to the right spouse. The clearer promises of God guided the less clear aspects of finding a spouse. Mature Christians should prioritize God’s divine purposes and covenant promises as a foundation for life. Not only does this mean that healthy marriages are built upon God’s covenant promises, but it also means that singleness can be a God-glorifying life station. As Abraham was willing to forgo forcing his agenda over God’s covenant plan—neither forcing the woman to come to Canaan unwillingly nor sending his son back to his homeland—so too must we learn to prioritize God’s previously-revealed covenant promises and divine purposes. If God had already clearly shown that he could give a barren, aged woman such as Sarah a child, how much more could God certainly give the land to Isaac and take care of Isaac’s future progeny? And if God’s purposes and promises are prioritized in our own lives, how much is he also able to give us a spouse at the right time or to sustain us in our singleness? The logic of Christian matchmaking is clear: uncompromisingly devote yourself fully to God’s clearly revealed will and trust him to guide you in the specifics.

In building healthy marriages, we should look for God’s guidance. As Abraham told his servant that God would “send His angel before you” (24:7), we must have confidence that God is actively preparing the path for those he wants to unite in marriage. He is also preparing the hearts and situations of those he would call to a life of singleness. While the particularities of finding a spouse may be unclear, we can base our lives on the clearly revealed promises of God. To jettison God’s purposes, to reject God’s promises, or to compromise God’s priorities in pursuit of a spouse—or whatever else we think will bring us fulfillment—is to damage the very joy we are striving to pursue. Our deepest fulfillment comes from abiding trust in the fruition of God’s promises and an active engagement in the participation of God’s purposes. To build a family on God’s promises is to also trust that God is ever at work in accomplishing his purposes by orchestrating countless specific circumstances that take place in our daily lives. The same God who earlier promised the land to Abraham would also guide his family in finding a wife for Isaac through an angelic lead. Explicit revelation in the form of a prophetic word was followed by specific guidance in the form of angelic visitation. Marriages that fervently cling to God’s promises and earnestly seek God’s continued guidance establish a firm foundation in the marital relationship.

By This I Shall Know: Establishing Marriage With God as Divine Guide

Biblical Narrative (Genesis 24:10–21)

After consenting to his master’s instructions with an oath, Abraham’s servant went to “Nahor’s hometown in Aram-naharaim [Mesopotamia]” (24:10). He took along with him “ten of his master’s camels” and “all manner of good things from his master” (24:10). The servant had the camels kneel by the well of water that was outside the city in the evening (24:11). In a display of faith and dependence, the servant prayed that God would grant him success and “show kindness to my master Abraham” (24:12; cf. 24:14). He said this at the time when the women would go out to the well to draw water (24:11, 13). As a way to discern God’s will, Abraham’s servant prayed that the young woman of God’s choosing—“the one [God had] appointed for … Isaac” (24:14)—would offer him and his camels water when he asked for a drink (24:14). This action would not only reveal God’s choice for Isaac but also that God showed his steadfast love toward Abraham (24:14).

The servant had not even finished his prayer when a young woman named Rebekah arrived at the well. Rebekah was Abraham’s grand-niece (the daughter of his nephew) (24:15). She was a young woman who “was very beautiful” and “a virgin who had not had relations with any man” (24:16). With her water jar on her shoulder (24:15), she came to the spring and filled up her jar with water (24:16). Abraham’s servant ran to her and asked for a little drink of water (24:17). She took the jar off of her shoulder and gave the servant a drink (24:18). When Isaac finished his drink, Rebekah offered to draw out water so the servant’s camels could drink as well (24:19). In an impressive act of earnestness, service, and sincerity, Rebekah “quickly emptied her jar into the trough and ran back to the well to draw water” (24:20). In a display of honor and diligent generosity, she did this “until she had drawn water for all his camels” (24:20). At this, the servant “watched her silently to see whether or not the Lord had made his journey a success” (24:21).

Biblical Principles

Marriage as God’s Loving Gift. In this story, Abraham’s servant was concerned about having success in his mission (24:14, 21). His success in finding a wife for Isaac amounted to a display of God’s steadfast love (24:12, 14, 27, 49). The servant was clearly a dutiful attendant to Abraham’s affairs, but he was also a God-fearing devotee. He knew that the success of his mission (and Isaac’s marriage) depended upon God’s favor. In this way, while Abraham’s servant was concerned about finding a wife for Isaac, he was ultimately concerned that his matchmaking mission rested under God’s favor. The coverage of God’s favor makes a marriage, in its inception or throughout its years, flourish in good fortune and divine blessing. Marriage is a gift from a loving and kind God who wants his people to enjoy the joy of a deep and intimate relationship. To enjoy this gift to the fullest, we must align our marital hopes with God’s revealed will. Said another way, marriages only flourish when they are put under God’s loving guidance and leadership.

Choosing the One God Chooses. On behalf of Abraham and Isaac, the servant searched for the wife of God’s choosing. The endeavor to send the servant to a distant land and search for a wife who would share in a common faith (cf. 24:3–4) already set the tone for the servant’s search. Abraham’s servant was in pursuit of “the one [God had] appointed for … Isaac” (24:14). In terms of finding a spouse, Christians should seek God’s guidance for whom they should marry. Prioritizing God’s leading is of greatest importance. In reality, God’s direction may not occur in the same way as the events of this biblical narrative. We need not set up “divine tests” that hope for a serendipitous encounter, miraculous sign, or supernatural angelic visit. Importantly, even the servant gazed at Rebekah “silently to see whether or not the Lord had made his journey a success” (24:21). This reflection, contemplation, and pondering occurred after the servant’s “divine test” had been fulfilled. Those expecting (or demanding) extraordinary visions of clarity should consider this: although God said that an angel would go ahead of them (24:7, 40), we nowhere witness the appearance of the angel in the retelling of this story. This does not mean the angel was not sent, but only that it did not appear in a way that made reflection, discernment, and contemplation unnecessary. God’s choice of our spouse should be our highest priority. Even more, God’s leading should continue to be a navigational standard throughout a godly marriage. To seek God’s lead for the one he wants us to marry involves both divine guidance and faithful human wisdom.

Measures and Means of Decision-Making and Following God’s Will. We follow God’s lead by inviting God-fearing family and mature members of the community of faith into the decision-making process. Abraham’s servant was not alone in his journey. He traveled with companions (24:32, 59) and traveled as a representative of Abraham’s family (24:1–9). We also prioritize God’s leading by giving ourselves to prayer. It is significant that Abraham’s servant gives himself to prayer in the process of his search (24:12–14). In addition to family insight, community counsel, and earnest prayer, we also should value aspects of physical attraction. In seeking God’s guidance, the servant did not ignore very human concerns such as beauty, appeal, and desirability. Speaking of Rebekah, the narrator makes a point to tell us that “the girl was very beautiful” (24:16). In seeking a spouse in God’s way, attraction is an important and worthwhile part of our consideration.

In addition to her beauty, Rebekah was also depicted as a woman of virtuous character. At the beginning of marriage or through its seasoned years, the godly character of the couple determines the success of the marriage. Rebekah’s earnestness and sincerity are shown in her quick response to Abraham’s servant (24:18, 20). She possessed purity in that she was “a virgin who had not had relations with any man” (24:16; cf. 24:43). Moreover, Rebekah displayed generosity by volunteering to offer water to his camels in addition to the water already given to the servant (24:18–19). Her act of charity and kindness further highlights her conscientiousness and hard work ethic. Not only was Rebekah hard at work when the servant noticed her (24:15–16), but Rebekah’s act of generosity multiplied her work (24:19–20). Rebekah’s hard work translated into humble service. While the servant ran to Rebekah to meet her (24:17), Rebekah ran to meet the needs of the servant’s camels (24:20). Whether considering marriage, being newly married, or maturing in marriage, the character of the couple is the bedrock upon which the marriage is built.

Not Forsaken: Fortifying Marriage With Divine Faithfulness

Biblical Narrative (Genesis 24:22–28)

After the camels finished drinking water, Abraham’s servant gave Rebekah a gold ring and two gold bracelets (24:22; cf. 24:30, 47, 53). The servant asked Rebekah who her family was and whether there was space in her father’s house to stay the night (24:23). Rebekah told the servant her family connections—“the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milcah bore to Nahor” (24:24; cf. 24:15)—and said that there was plenty of room to spend the night (24:25). In response to this, the servant “bowed down and worshiped the Lord” (24:26). He praised God for not forsaking “His kindness and faithfulness” (24:27) toward Abraham. He then affirmed that God was the one who “led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives” (24:27). After this, Rebekah ran back to her family to tell them what had happened (24:28).

Biblical Principles

Commitment, Devotion, and Intentionality. When the servant gave Rebekah the ring and bracelets (24:22), he was making his intentions very clear. These expensive gifts were a forerunner of the marriage proposal to Rebekah. We see that Rebekah understood the intention because she ran eagerly to tell her family the news (24:28). Also, Laban would later understand the intentions of the servant not only from Rebekah’s words, but also by the gifts of jewelry (24:30). A marriage proposal had been made (albeit on behalf of Abraham and Isaac). These gifts—signs and symbols communicating a commitment and resolution—highlight the necessary dedication, resolve, and devotion that back any successful marriage. In many cultures, gifts (sometimes even jewelry) are given to signify the covenantal nature of the marriage relationship. While a marriage relationship is built upon God’s leading (and involves personal dimensions of character and attraction), marriage is a commitment. Without each spouse understanding the necessary commitment involved, temporary pressures can erode the fabric of a marriage union. While it may seem easy to offer one’s devotion to another at a marriage’s inception, it is harder (and even more important) to cultivate this commitment throughout the life of the marriage. The context of a binding covenant helps to establish the unyielding fidelity and unrelenting tenacity that mark all thriving marriages.

Divine Faithfulness, Sincere Worship, and Earnest Obedience. An exemplar of undelayed obedience to God, Abraham’s servant bowed down and worshiped God (24:26) upon hearing that there was space in her family’s house to stay (24:25). This moment of worship was not simply about the provision of lodging. The servant knew that her willingness to extend hospitality to him was an expression of her interest and acceptance of the proposal. When the servant praised God, he affirmed that God had not forsaken steadfast love and faithfulness (24:27). God’s faithful, reliable, and trustworthy leading (24:27, 48, 49) would be foundational to the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah. An appropriate Christian reaction to God’s faithfulness is praise and worship. Romantic relationships that are punctuated and motivated by worship of God are well on their way to experiencing the joy and delight God intends for this sacred union. This is the case for the initial years of discernment, engagement, proposal, and wedding. This is also the case for seasoned married couples with decades of shared life. God’s faithfulness to his people makes a couple’s faithfulness to each other possible. Sincere worship of God infuses abundant life into a marriage.

The final statement of the servant’s praise was an affirmation that God had led him on his journey (24:27; cf. 24:48). When God’s plan is noticed and followed, a holy excitement arises in the marriage and extended family. The quickness (24:18, 20, 46) and speed (24:17, 20, 28, 29) with which people responded in this story are impressive. As God’s will became clear, there was no hesitation to act. Upon seeing the woman, the servant ran to meet her (24:17). When Rebekah offered to water his camels, she ran to draw more water (24:20). Upon receiving the gifts, Rebekah ran to report this news to her family (24:28). After this, Laban ran to meet the servant upon hearing this news (24:29). While not all marriages can or should happen so quickly, marriage still must be built upon prompt and unhesitating obedience to God’s leading.

This quick and earnest obedience is matched with God’s “quick” fulfillment of the servant’s prayer. God brought the woman of choice “before the servant had finished praying” (24:15; cf. 24:45). Although God may not respond to our every prayer with this same speed, this narrative proves that God is endlessly faithful to his promises, always attentive to our prayers, and ceaselessly engaged in our affairs. We can nourish our obedience and deference to God’s ways with a confidence in God’s ever-present and active faithfulness. Healthy marriages can find no other firm foundation upon which to build their new life together. A marriage that honors God with undelayed obedience is armed with spiritual strength to weather life’s difficult storms.

The Tie That Binds: Infusing Commitment Through the Marriage Covenant

Biblical Narrative (Genesis 24:29–49)

After Rebekah recounted this news of a marriage proposal to her family, her brother, Laban, ran out to meet Abraham’s servant at the spring (24:29). The ring, bracelets, and verbal account made the servant’s intentions clear (24:30). When Laban arrived at the well, the servant was with his camels (24:29–30). Laban greeted him with a blessing and invited him (and his camels) to stay with them in their home (24:31). Accepting Laban’s invitation of hospitality, the servant went to the house, unharnessed his camels, gave the camels food, and washed his feet and the feet of the others who traveled with him (24:32). When his hosts offered food for him to eat (24:33), he refrained and said that he would not eat until he spoke of the reason why he had come (24:33).

After being permitted to speak (24:33), the servant narrated the events that brought him to the present moment (24:34–48). He explained that he was the servant of Abraham (24:34), whom God had been greatly blessed and prospered (24:35). He recounted how God gave Abraham and Sarah a son, Isaac, in their old age and that he was the sole heir of all his father’s possessions (24:36). Abraham told the servant to find a wife for Isaac among his family and not among the Canaanites (24:37–38). Abraham bound the servant by oath to fulfill his directions, but released him from this oath if the family refused the offer (24:37–41). Although much of this dialogue repeats Abraham’s earlier conversation with his servant (cf. 24:1–9), this account begins the story with God’s favor, provision, and blessing of Abraham (24:34–36) and emphasizes both the woman’s willingness to come (24:39) and the happy consent of her family (24:41).

The servant then described his encounter with Rebekah (24:42–48). He told how, upon his arrival in the town, he prayed for God’s leading by means of a sign: the woman would give water to him and his camels (24:42–44). Abraham’s representative explained how he saw Rebekah coming before he had even finished his prayer (24:45), and she not only gave him water to drink, but drew water for his camels as well (24:45–46). With this sign clearly in view, the servant asked Rebekah about her family connection and gave her the nose ring and bracelets (24:47). Concluding that God had clearly led him to the wife of choice (and in such a prompt manner), he bowed down to praise and worship God "led [him] on the right road " (24:48). This narrative retelling led to a particular request the servant needed to make. Having recounted God’s faithfulness—to Abraham, Sarah, and the servant himself—Abraham’s servant asked that the family respond with covenant love and faithfulness in answering the marriage proposal. The servant put the request candidly and bluntly: “If you will show kindness and faithfulness to my master, tell me; but if not, let me know, so that I may go elsewhere” (24:49). The servant had officially proposed marriage, asking for consent that Rebekah be given to Isaac in the covenantal union of marriage.

Biblical Principles

Covenantal Commitment. Marriage is founded upon a covenantal commitment. The proposal the servant made (on behalf of Abraham and Isaac) was of great consequence. Laban demonstrated that he understood the urgency and significance of this request by running to the spring to meet the servant (24:29). The value and worth of this marriage proposition was communicated by the costly jewelry given to Rebekah (24:30), by the generous invitation of hospitality extended by Laban (24:31–33), and by Rebekah’s earlier welcome and benevolence (24:25). The substance and seriousness of this marriage proposal was accentuated by the servant refraining from a meal in order to make the marriage proposal (24:33). The meaning and foundation of marriage is illuminated by the servant’s request that the family show “kindness and faithfulness” (24:49) in their response to the marriage request. Although the request of faithfulness and love was asked of the family, this request accentuated the covenantal intent behind a marriage relationship. As a whole, the details of this narrative scene highlight the covenantal core of marriage: a promise of faithfulness to a spouse firmly fixed under the coverage of God’s own covenantal faithfulness.

Recounting Narratives of God’s Faithfulness. This section of the narrative also includes a long retelling of the previous events already recorded. This story (or significant parts of it) was retold several times within the passage. The scriptural account itself is a narrative retelling (24:1–67). Rebekah narrated her encounter with the servant (24:28, 30). The servant retold a good portion of the series of events that took place (24:34–49). Later, the servant finally told the narrative again to Isaac (24:66). In general, marriages can benefit from remembering the stories at the inception of the relationship. Recalling true narratives of God’s past acts and divine leading (24:34–48) can catalyze ongoing commitment with covenant love and faithfulness (24:49). While marriage is founded upon a covenantal commitment—“kindness and faithfulness” (24:49)—this covenant needs to be nourished and sustained. Retelling stories of God’s faithfulness, rehearsing the circumstances of God’s leading, remembering God’s design for marriage, and recalling the promises made in the marriage vows all help to strengthen the marriage union. Passing down these stories to the next generations encourages marriages and families to align themselves with God and his ways.

I Will Go: Forming a New Family Through the Marriage Union

Biblical Narrative (Genesis 24:50–61)

After hearing the marriage request from Abraham’s servant, Laban (and Rebekah’s father, Bethuel) responded with an affirmative answer. Based on the narrated events, they concluded (much like the servant) that “this is from the Lord” (24:50). So clear was God’s leading that no one could deny it: “We have no choice in the matter” (24:50). Laban and Bethuel gave Rebekah to the servant to be Isaac’s wife (24:51). Their consent was based on an alignment of their lives with God’s clearly revealed will, “just as the Lord has decreed” (24:51). This marriage was based upon a union that God was bringing together, and who were they to stand in the way? Having received their consent, the servant bowed again to worship the Lord (24:52; cf. 24:26, 48). Then, the servant gave more expensive jewelry to Rebekah and gave costly gifts to Laban and Rebekah’s mother (24:53). They ate a meal together, and the servant stayed at the house that evening (24:54).

In the morning, the servant was set to leave and return home, but when he asked permission to leave, Laban and Rebekah’s mother asked that Rebekah stay at least ten days before leaving (24:54–55). Perhaps because of the sudden nature of this proposal or the need to test the legitimacy and safety of this marriage situation, Rebekah’s family asked for a delayed departure (24:55). While the family felt its own needs (for their well-being and Rebekah’s), the servant also had a binding responsibility to Abraham (and God) to not protract their return. In an exemplary display of faithful obedience, the servant requested again to be sent back with Rebekah to his master, exclaiming, “Do not delay me, since the Lord has made my journey a success” (24:56).

To break the tension and indecision, they asked Rebekah what she wanted to do (24:57). To ask the woman her decision would have been unusual or uncommon in this cultural setting. In fact, asking Rebekah about her consent in general is seen as unusual in the story as it unfolded (the consent of Isaac and Rebekah occurs little and late in the narrative, but they are a factor in the end [24:57–58, 67]). When they asked Rebekah if she would go, she consented (24:58). With this agreement, they sent Rebekah to go back with Abraham’s servant (24:60) and blessed her (24:60). They pronounced a blessing that Rebekah would have many descendants and would experience victory over their enemies. With Rebekah having accepted the marriage proposal, Rebekah left with her assistants and returned to Canaan with Abraham’s servant (24:61).

Biblical Principles

Leaving and Cleaving. Just as the situation of Rebekah’s proposal put two families in a brief moment of tension, the covenant bond anticipated by a proposal forces each family to reckon with the fact that a new family is being formed in the marriage union. Even back in the paradise of Eden, God stated that “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (2:24). Marriage is a means that God uses to multiply families throughout the earth. While married couples should never abandon their own families, they must recognize that they are forming a new family unit before God. In fact, when the family consented to Rebekah returning with the servant, the blessing pronounced over Rebekah promised a lineage of “thousands upon thousands” in which her “offspring [would] possess the gates of their enemies” (24:60). This blessing highlights the family lineage that comes from leaving her family of origin, marrying her betrothed Isaac, and starting a new family with him. No other human relationship compares with that of marriage. While its covenant bond is meant to depict our relationship with God (cf. Ephesians 5:22–33), it is also a means God uses to multiply families throughout the earth. The creation mandate to be fruitful and multiply is a part of God’s divine purpose (i.e., filling the earth with God’s image) and also connects with his redemptive purpose (i.e., passing God’s promises to the next generation). As God-fearing family units are multiplied throughout the earth, these families bear witness to God and his saving work for human sinners.

Agency and Willingness. While couples should seek the guidance of families and the wisdom of the faith community, they should also consider their own desire for marriage. The individuality of each spouse should be honored, and the combined desire of the couple should be considered. The community’s input into a potential marriage relationship should not overshadow individuality; neither should individuality eclipse the wisdom of the community. Spouses should have agency and choice in their marriage partner as they listen to the advice from trusted companions. In the present story, asking Rebekah for her consent would have been atypical (24:57–58), emphasizing that her own willingness to marry Isaac was an important factor to consider. Family consultation and individual agency are both important (and often in tension) in marriage. This healthy tension can help provide guidance on whom to marry and can offer an enormous support network for couples as they wade through the inevitable difficulties that every marriage will encounter.

And He Loved Her: Enjoying the Blessings of the Marriage Union

Biblical Narrative (Genesis 24:62–67)

Abraham’s servant traveled home with Isaac’s bride. Isaac had settled in the Negeb after returning from Beer-lahai-roi (24:62; cf. 16:14; 25:11). In the evening, Isaac had gone out in the field to meditate when he saw that camels were coming (24:63). Rebekah saw Isaac and got down from the camel (24:64) and then asked who the man in the field was (24:65). When the servant said it was her master, Rebekah covered herself with her veil (24:65). After the servant recounted to Isaac all the things that happened on his journey (24:66), Isaac “took Rebekah as his wife” (24:67). Now that they were married, Isaac “brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah” (24:67). At that time, the marriage union was formed and consummated. The joy and richness of this union were celebrated by both spouses. Rebekah was loved by Isaac, and Isaac was comforted by Rebekah (24:67).

Biblical Principles

Marital Joy and Intimacy. Marriage done God’s way is a great joy. One of the closest relationships two humans can experience, the husband-wife union enjoys intimacy and closeness that gives us insight into God and his relationship with his people. As this final scene unfolds, we witness the meeting of Isaac and Rebekah. Much had taken place in God’s divine arrangement to bring this moment about. The story climaxes with the meeting of Isaac and Rebekah. Isaac “went out to the field to meditate” and saw the returning caravan (24:63). This meeting takes place as Isaac and Rebekah were “looking up” (24:63; cf. 24:64). They were simultaneously experiencing God’s work in orchestrating the past events of their lives to bring them together in marriage union (24:66). God was bringing this couple together in a way that would maximize their joy and blessing as they aligned themselves to his leading. In short, the joys of marriage are enjoyed when we follow God’s design for the marriage relationship.

Mutual Belonging, Loving Companionship, and Sexual Intimacy. Throughout this story, marriage is described as taking a wife (24:3, 4, 7, 37, 38, 40, 48, 51, 61, 67). This word “taking” is not a possessive or domineering control over another, but rather a sense of mutual belonging. The fusion of lives that is the marriage union involves taking another into one’s own life. In taking Rebekah as his wife, Isaac was taking responsibility for his new spouse, and Rebekah was coming under the coverage of Isaac’s care. Importantly, Isaac did not relate intimately with Rebekah outside of marriage. Their relationship had to be consecrated as a husband-wife relationship in order to be consummated with sexual delight. In a ceremony of commitment, Isaac “brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah and took Rebekah as his wife” (24:67). In God’s design, intimacy between a man and a woman should occur in the context of the union, commitment, and mutual belonging of a husband-wife covenantal relationship.

The benefits of marriage are best enjoyed in the loving security of a covenantal commitment. In the context of a marriage covenant, marriage begets joy and blessing. When God’s design is not followed, and people try to enjoy such benefits outside of covenantal bond (and without grounding their lives in faithfulness to God), pain ensues. Some of the most painful experiences in life have occurred when people go about “marriage-like” experiences without following God’s design for marriage. Marriage promises many blessings, but while these joyous prospects are the rich rewards of those who follow God’s design for marriage, those who approach human intimacy in casual, dilettante, or defiant ways create hardship and difficulty for themselves and others, sometimes for generations to come. In this story, Isaac and Rebekah became husband and wife. In this relationship, we learn that Isaac “loved her” (Rebekah) and that Isaac was “comforted after his mother’s death” (24:67). Love, comfort, intimacy, and companionship characterized their relationship. Sincere love of husband and wife allows for a context where comfort can occur (i.e., sexually, relationally, emotionally, and physically). At the end of this long and gripping narrative, Isaac and Rebekah enjoy a God-appointed marriage that urges us all to conform our romantic relationships to a God-given design.

Conclusion

Like Isaac and Rebekah, we enjoy God’s blessings in the marriage relationship when it is founded upon God’s design. In this story, we witness a wise and godly search for a wife centered on God’s priorities. We consider the importance of God as the primary leader in marriage. As the servant interacted with Rebekah at the well, we saw the importance of godly character and faithful commitment, both of which are necessary if a marriage is going to thrive. The meaning of marriage is further exhibited in the servant’s discourse with Rebekah’s family and his request for covenantal love and faithfulness. Rebekah’s own agency was respected as she accepted the marriage proposal and then received a blessing of the prospect of a large and strong ancestry. When Isaac and Rebekah finally met, they formed their union in the covenant of marriage and enjoyed the rich blessings of love, comfort, intimacy, and companionship.

Our commitment to follow God’s plan for marriage is crucial for enjoying the rich prospects of this union. But our faithfulness in marriage (whether single, unmarried, newly married, or seasoned in marriage) is part of our Christian maturity. We cannot be strong in faith without having our romantic relationships in order. We all inherit approaches to marriage from our surrounding culture and personal upbringing. God calls us, even through this story, to recalibrate our approach to marriage after his design. Although the work of marriage is difficult and challenging, when we seek to build a relationship based on God’s plan, the challenge of cultivating a marriage relationship that is backed by a covenant commitment holds great prospects for joy and blessing.

Session Synopsis

SESSION 3 SYNOPSIS
Marriage	In this passage, we learn about the nature and importance of marriage. Abraham commissioned his servant to find a spouse for his son, Isaac. He placed the servant under an oath to find a suitable spouse from his own people and not from the Canaanites. In a display of faithfulness, discernment, and prayerfulness, the servant found the spouse God wanted Isaac to marry. The name of this God-appointed wife was Rebekah. The servant met her at a well, discerned her as God’s choice, and made a marriage proposal to the family on behalf of Isaac. After hearing how God led the servant, the family (and Rebekah) consented to the request and eventually returned to Canaan. Isaac and Rebekah were united in marriage. This narrative teaches about the sanctity of marriage and how one can build solid foundations of a godly marriage. A summary of this story’s principles is outlined below.
Marriage as Sacred and a Gift from God	Marriage should be honored as a special and gracious gift from God (24:12, 14, 27, 49). Many of the actions of the characters in this narrative show the importance, value, sanctity, and honor of marriage (24:22–33). Marriage is a uniquely sacred union God uses to accomplish his purposes in the world and fulfill his promises for his people from generation to generation.
Leaving and Cleaving	Marriage involves one man and one woman committing to each other in an exclusive devotion to each other for life, leaving their families of origin and cleaving to each other in covenant commitment to form new family units (24:60; cf. 2:24).
Decision-Making	The decision of whom to marry should be a matter of community involvement (24:1–4, 6-7) and personal agency (24:5, 8, 57–58). Faithful followers of Christ should only marry those who are believers: equally yoked in faith and godliness (24:3–4, 6–7). God leads his people to those he wants them to marry (24:7, 14, 21, 27, 40, 48). Wisdom in choosing a spouse should be based upon obedience to God’s clearly revealed will (24:7), prayerful discernment (24:12–15, 45), and wisdom of God’s leading in life’s specific circumstances (24:21, 50, 63–64, 66). One should look for a spouse based upon attraction (24:16) and godly character (24:15–20, 43).
Marriage Covenant	Marriage is founded upon a covenantal commitment (24:22, 30, 49–61, 65–67) of mutual belonging (24:3, 4, 7, 37, 38, 40, 48, 51, 61, 63–64, 67).
God’s Faithfulness Catalyzes Our Faithfulness	The whole narrative account (24:1–67) and narrative retellings in the story (24:28, 30, 34–49, 66) attest to God’s faithfulness. Faithfulness in marriage (and all healthy human relationships) is based upon God’s faithfulness. God’s acts of covenant love and faithfulness (24:12, 14, 27) should catalyze covenant love and faithfulness between others (24:49, 67).
Blessings of Godly Marriages	This story recounts how people responded quickly (24:18, 20, 46) and speedily (24:17, 20, 28, 29) as God’s will became clear. Marriage is based upon genuine love for another (24:67) and uncompromising worship and obedient devotion to God (24:25–27, 48, 52, 63). Marriage that is fully consecrated to God brings joy, comfort, and deep delight (24:67).

Personal Reflection: Entering the Story

Apply the Text: The word of God is binding and authoritative, the only reliable guide for faith and godliness. True disciples submit themselves to God’s word. In this movement, you will apply God’s word to your lives.

Reflection Questions

Encourage one person to share a testimony about how this story has impacted them so far. Use the reflection questions to examine your life in light of this biblical passage.

Spiritual Practice

Vision Statement

Take a moment to reflect on the characteristics of a successful marriage in the story of Isaac and Rebekah. If you are married or planning to be married, prayerfully write out a vision for marriage that is built after God’s design. If God is calling you to singleness (for a season or for your life), write out a vision for ways you can support the marriages of others.

Ministry Practice: Rehearsing the Script

Minister the Text: God’s word is living and active. Through God’s word, the Christian community is edified. In this movement, you will utilize the biblical passage to minister to other believers and build them up in their faith.

Application Questions

Look at the infographic below. Use the questions to think about how to minister this text to other believers.

Missional Outreach: Publicizing the Truth

Witness the Text: The Bible is a message of God’s gracious salvation to the world. In word and deed, God’s people proclaim the good news of the gospel. In this movement, you will use this biblical passage to reach out to unbelievers.

Strategy Questions

Reflect on the infographic below. Consider how you can use this passage to witness to the surrounding world. Use the suggested ideas to prime your imagination. Then, put together a plan to share this passage with unbelievers, Afterward, reflect on this mission experience.